Publication date: October 21st 2021
Genres: Dark Contemporary Romance

One accident.
Two men.
Almost three years of despair.
Four beating hearts growing in pain.
Five lives forever changed.

Everything fell apart in the blink of an eye.

These days my own misery keeps me company.

I never thought this would be me—a twenty-four-year-old—stuck in a dead-end relationship.

Gone are the thrilling adventures with Harvey Stark.

Gone is his smile.

Gone is the sight of his dimples and the sparkle in his bright blue eyes.

He’s changed into a hollow version of himself and I’m just a shadow following him around our home.

Then I meet my new boss at a firm in Downtown Chicago. Damon Dreygon challenges me in ways I never knew existed and makes me believe in myself again. Our souls match instantly, and meeting Damon feels like a step towards peace.

Except it’s not. Because everyone grieves differently.

So while one man refuses to touch me, the other can’t love me.

And I’m crawling through the crippling chaos, barely holding on . . .

Exverpt

“Come see your place.” Gia gives me a tight smile, holding up my keys. I want to crumble right there as I step out of the car. Drop to my knees on the concrete of the driveway despite my ripped jeans.

I want the world and everything in it to swallow me whole.

I can’t do this.

I don’t think I can do this.

I hear only the muffled words of my sister as I take in the front of the house. It’s filled with tiny trees and flowers, and I want to laugh because how will this help us?

The memories of my calls with Harvey hit me with a vengeance—I could almost hear him dying a painful death inside. According to Helen, Stefan said that Harv’s progress was slower than the others in his group.

And his happy, sweet, chipper self? It was all gone when we talked.

How will he get out of this alive if he refuses to let his mind fight for this? How on earth is he supposed to beat potential infections, pressure sores, and circulation disorders, if he doesn’t want to fight?

Fight, Harvey; just fight.

I can’t push these demons away all by myself. The monsters will eat me alive.

Paranoia at all the possible complications he might have to overcome hits me hard and square in the chest.

“So . . . what do you think?” Gia opens the door, and when I enter my new home, I feel none of the things I should feel: joy, happiness, excitement, fucking something good, anything good.

I’m so numb.

“Surprise! We moved all of your stuff for you guys!”

God, if only I could cry, feel, I could tell my sister she’s the best sister in the entire world. I don’t ever want to know what life would be like without her. She’s pregnant and tired half the time with her first child, yet she found a way to do all of this for me, for us.

I turn around and find a sympathetic smile on her face. Gia lost something in all of this, too, didn’t she?

I’ll never be the same.

I’m just too afraid to tell her that. Or maybe she already knows.

“Thank you.” I bring her to me, pouring out my feelings in a tight hug.

“Gem,” her voice croaks. “I’ll do anything to help—you know that. We’re all here for you. You’re not alone in this.” She pulls back, staring at me intently, trying to drill the message home.

Not alone, but for how long?

That’s always the pressing question, isn’t it? No matter how much death and despair sinks its teeth inside your skin, the clock keeps ticking and the world goes round and round, expecting you to keep pace.

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About the Author

M . H . B . graduated law from a Canadian University and loves spending time with her German Shepherd Dog. She has a passion for animals and enjoys the simple things in life: books, music, chocolate, sunny days and overall wellness. When she is not writing, her mind is in another world, with a book in hand.

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