A Forgotten Dream Realized by Bella Mahaya Carter

Author of Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?: Finding Peace of Mind While You Write, Publish, and Promote Your Book

Recently, while skimming old journals, I came upon this line I wrote in 1986: “One day I’d like to write a book about writing.” At the time, I was a graduate student and screenwriting teaching assistant at USC’s film school.

I’d completely forgotten that dream. But here I am, thirty-four years later, fulfilling it with Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? I never could have guessed the twists and turns my life would take, or that I’d become more interested in books than films, or that I’d develop a passion for spiritual psychology, personal transformation, and growth.
 
As a young adult, I (like many aspiring artist-dreamers) fantasized about fame and fortune. Although I felt abundantly creative, I had no idea what it took to make a living—or a life—from my creativity. 
 
For years my creative passions got stuck in logjams of insecure thought. I had no idea how insecure I really was. How much my desire to please others translated into small, but continuous betrayals of myself. 
 
As a young writer, I had no platform, little experience or practice, and scant skills. In other words, I had a lot to learn. Throughout my thirties I submitted poetry and prose to literary journals and received more rejections than acceptances. In my forties, I shopped a memoir, which never found a home. What made those rejections painful was my belief that they had to do with me personally. I translated it into: I have no talent and should stop writing. I’m wasting my time. This created inner turmoil because I had to write. I needed to write. It fed me. It calmed me. It helped me make sense of my life. This was the reason I never gave up. 
 
By the time I reached fifty, I knew a lot more about myself and about publishing. I quit taking rejection personally, and found rich and rewarding ways to make and share my work. I believed in it and in myself. This has been a game-changer.
 
Still, I wish I’d known much earlier than I did that I could have ignored my insecure thinking. I didn’t realize we all have insecure thoughts. It’s part of the human condition. It’s universal. I had no idea I could relegate fear to the back seat instead of letting it navigate, or worse, drive my life. Learning this has led to personal as well as creative liberation.
 
It’s not just me! I realized five decades into my journey.
 
When the world seems to be saying “no” to you and your creative expression, consider that it might mean, “No, not yet.” You may have more to do. You may need to let your idea marinate a little longer. You may need to study, practice, observe, and hone your craft. 
 
Or maybe you need to face a new direction. Try an alternative path. Change your perspective. Or, as I describe in my new book, move your hammock to a new location in order get a different view.
 
Maybe, like me, you’d enjoy becoming a scientist of your own psyche. Maybe you’d like to open your heart more. Take a deeper dive. Perhaps you need to peel back a few more layers and let yourself be vulnerable. 
 
We all benefit from accepting things as they are and going where we are led, rather than where the mind cajoles, forces, or demands. 
 
Follow your inner GPS, your heart, your hunches, and new opportunities will arise.
 
This is what I have done, without realizing or planning it. I have learned to trust my urge to create, and ended up birthing books, and also teaching and coaching, which was never part of any conscious plan, but which is, in fact, my true calling. My life’s work eventually found me, and for this I am grateful.
 
Am I rich or famous? No. But recently a student of mine referred to herself and her fellow classmates as “Bella’s ministry,” which touched my heart and made me smile, because I consider the work I do with my students to be sacred. I am rich, after all. Treasure has many forms: love, friendship, service, meaningful work, home, family, and life itself. 
 
Not all dreams come true, but many do. They might not look exactly the way you dreamed, but when you slow down and listen to the still, quiet voice within, life has a way of guiding you.
 
I’ve received wonderful feedback on my new book. I think it will help writers and anyone wanting to live a more fulfilled creative life—anyone wanting to make their own dreams come true.

About the Author

Bella Mahaya Carter is the author of Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?: Finding Peace of Mind While You Write, Publish, and Promote Your Book. She is a creative writing teacher, empowerment coach, and speaker, and author of an award-winning memoir, Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy, and a collection of narrative poems, Secrets of My Sex. She has worked with hundreds of writers since 2008 and has degrees in literature, film, and spiritual psychology. Her poetry, essays, fiction, and interviews have appeared in Mind, Body, Green; The Sun; Lilith; Fearless Soul; Writer’s Bone; Women Writers, Women’s Books; Chic Vegan; Bad Yogi Magazine; Jane Friedman’s Blog; Pick the Brain; Spiritual Media blog; Literary Mama; several anthologies, and elsewhere. For more information, please visit https://www.bellamahayacarter.com

Connect:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=Bella%20Mahaya%20Carter

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bellamahayacarter/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/BellaMahaya

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bella-mahaya-carter-18570914/

Q&A with Sherra Aguirre, Joyful, Delicious, Vegan: Life without Heart Disease

Where did you grow up /live now?

I was born in Lufkin, Texas and moved with my parents to Edna, another small town in South Texas. I have lived in Houston, Texas, since moving here to attend the University of Houston in the late 1970s.

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer? Or what first inspired you to write?

I have always enjoyed writing and consider it an art form. I love a well-crafted sentence and the nuanced communication that is possible with the written word. I also love a well told story. I never aspired to be a writer, only to use my enjoyment of writing to tell my story in a way that would empower and inspire others.

Where/When do you best like to write?

I write at home, however any quiet place works well.

When you are struggling to write/have writer’s block, what are some ways that help you find your creative muse again?

I do either one of two things. I either step back and rethink my outline, because often my structure is part of the problem. Or I take a break to do some other type of creative activity to get that energy flowing again.

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What inspired your story?

The sheer gratitude for my health journey and the joy I discovered along the way were and remain my inspiration. I want to empower others to know that good health is within reach and it starts in our kitchen.

What do you like to do when you are not writing?

I like to read, cook, exercise, practice yoga and meditation. I also love sports and home improvement shows.

Who are some of your favorite authors?

As a mom my two daughters are my favorite contemporary authors! That said, I think if they weren’t my daughters, and I had read any of Attica Locke’s novels e.g. Black Water Rising or Heaven My Home, and Tembi Locke’s memoir From Scratch, I would enthusiastically say the same thing. Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist is another favorite. Ernest Gaines is an American novelist whose work I cherish. Two of my favorite poets are Kahlil Gibran and Rainer Maria Wilke.

What person(s) has/have helped you the most in your career?

My family members have been consistent supporters both in my business career and now my writing and health advocacy endeavors. My mom financed my start up business in 1981 with a $500 loan when I couldn’t find bank financing! A teacher, she also wrote a children’s book which inspired my daughters and myself to dare to write.

About the Author

SHERRA AGUIRRE is an articulate health enthusiast, environmentalist and food security activist. She founded and led a successful business for three decades, winning national awards for entrepreneurship, innovation, and service excellence. She sold the company in 2016 to focus on sharing her passion for healthy diet and lifestyle.

Aguirre describes herself as high energy, in better overall health, and in many ways more fit than in her thirties or forties. She has practiced meditation and yoga daily for more than twenty-five years, and for many years has researched and read extensively about diet and lifestyle as the most important factors for achieving and maintaining good health. By adopting a whole plant-based diet, she improved her overall heart health and eliminated symptoms of hypertension despite a significant family history of heart attack, stroke, and high blood pressure. She is passionate about empowering others to maintain vibrancy and good health throughout their lifetimes.

One of Aguirre’s main goals with her new book is to make the change to a healthier diet and lifestyle more accessible, particularly to African Americans and other communities who are at high risk for diabetes and heart disease.

Q&A with Felix Holzapfel, Catch-42: A Novel About Our Future

When did you first realize you wanted to be a writer? Or what first inspired you to write?

I'm the youngest of four, so I needed to talk a lot to get heard at all. I guess that's one of the reasons I’ve been a good storyteller ever since I was a little kid. When I finished first grade, my teacher commented on my report card that I fascinated my classmates with my stories. I’ve also loved reading since I was little, but I was never a good writer. One day, my friend Jana read one of my business plans and told me, "Felix, your stories and your ability to express yourself are amazing, but your writing is horrible! Have you ever thought about shortening your sentences? You know, turning one sentences into two, three, or even four or more?" This straightforward advice, which none of my teachers ever gave me, improved my writing significantly.

Where and when do you best like to write?

In the last two decades, I trained myself strictly so I could work everywhere, no matter the time or surroundings. The same applies to my writing. But if I have a choice, I prefer quiet spots. I love sitting outside while writing, best-case having some sunshine, warm weather, and the ocean close by.

What do you think makes a good story?

I enjoy stories that combine an intoxicating plot with elements that teach me something or make me think. I also love stories that turn complex and demanding topics and knowledge into something I want to learn more about. And if people have something to tell, memoirs can make good stories, too.

What inspired your story?

Three main elements inspired me:

First, my having worked for two decades in the IT and digital marketing industry.

While explaining the latest trends to an elite audience, I thought that parts of IT are knowledge everyone should have—especially in our day, when technology is omnipresent and about to change some of humanity’s fundamentals.

Second, after selling our company, I took a one-year sabbatical to travel the world with my wife and our two children. I visited creative hotspots and benefitted from fascinating conversations with industry experts, entrepreneurs, and other inspiring people. Many of these inspirations found their way into the book.

Third, we returned home in February 2020, just before Covid-19 changed the world. This extraordinary stroke of fate influenced what I had been thinking about and added new ideas to my initial concept for this book.

Is there a message/theme in your novel that you want readers to grasp?

Yes! Don’t ever think you’re not capable of influencing the bigger picture. If everybody felt that way, a few would paint the bigger picture for all of us—a picture that’s not likely to match our expectations. If we each contribute our little piece, the bigger picture of our future will become more significant, more colorful, and more beautiful than we can imagine. Contributing is up to all of us.

With this book, I want to encourage as many people as possible to think—from radically new perspectives—how humanity, technology, the economy, and our society might develop in the future. Even better, I want people to think about how they would like our world to change and how each of us can become an active part in the decision-making process that has already begun.

What was your greatest challenge in writing this book?

I thought my greatest challenge would be writing the book in English instead of my first language, German, but thanks to the support of my wonderful editors Howard and Darby, language turned out to be a minor concern.

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The greatest challenge was creating a complex plot with all its layers and linking different storylines and demanding topics across different worlds and times. I'm pretty good at being able to stay focused for a very long time. But writing this book brought me from time to time to my limits. Sometimes my wife or the kids would enter the room and ask me a simple question, or something would distract me for a couple of seconds, and an entire construct in my mind would collapse, forcing me to start all over again. But over time, I got better. And—I'm still married to my wife, and the kids have forgiven me for not giving them the attention they deserved while I was in the zone writing the manuscript.

Your book's main objective is to motivate people to think about future challenges in technology, society, and humanity, and—best-case—to actively participate in decision-making happening right now. How can each of us contribute?

This is an excellent question. Our world is moving faster than ever. Thus, that people can't see the forest for the trees is no surprise. In Catch-42, I try to take people by the hand, step back, and look at the big picture.

If Catch-42 somehow makes readers think, then they can become active participants in decision-making by following three simple steps that I list at the book’s conclusion. The bottom line for readers is: learn more about the book’s topics that catch your interest, talk with others to gain new perspectives and create a grassroots movement, and don’t let others paint the bigger picture for you. Everyone needs to become an active part of the decision-making-process!

In addition, I included examples of fundamental questions that we should all think about from time to time and try to find consensus—even though we may thoroughly disagree on the answers.

What qualifies you to write Catch-42—a book that covers not only a wide range of technologies but also questions fundamentals involving today's way of life, our society, and our core values?

One of the key points I make in Catch-42 is that to understand the full impact of converging technologies, connecting the dots among different disciplines may be more important than ever. To be an expert in every aspect is almost impossible because of the variety of topics. Nevertheless, I tried to gain as much knowledge as possible and melt different worlds into one fascinating story.

In my over two decades working in the IT and marketing industries for some of the world's leading brands, I acquired extensive knowledge in a variety of areas in a short time. The experience trained me to ask the right questions while I gained invaluable insights from clients across a wide range of categories—some tech-heavy, others related to social behaviors, desires, or people's everyday needs. We created solutions for different target audiences across all imaginable social demographics.

In addition, I benefitted from my family background in writing Catch-42. I grew up in an environment where talking politics was valued. My grandmother co-founded a publishing house that publishes the annual book of all politicians who are part of the German government. When I was a teenager, I visited her daily. During lunch, we discussed past and current political developments. These conversations were just one of the influences that shaped my interest in global politics that I’ve had to this day.

These factors may not make me the perfect candidate to have written this futuristic call-to-action book, but I'm confident that at the least Catch-42 will enable readers to look at life fundamentals from different perspectives. I know that I went above and beyond to pack as much passion, knowledge, and creativity in the book as I could.

What's the best writing advice you ever received?

I'm almost ashamed to admit it because it's so basic and the 101 of writing. But sometimes, the easiest things can be the most challenging: "Show, don’t tell."

Connect with Felix:

www.catch-42.com
www.linkedin.com/in/felixholzapfel
www.twitter.com/felix_holzapfel
www.facebook.com/felixholzapfel
www.instagram.com/felixholzapfel23

The Girl in the Red Boots: Making Peace with My Mother by Judith Ruskay Rabinor, PhD

This book was born in 1983, when my 68-year-old divorced mother-in-law announced her remarriage. Ironically, her second wedding coincided with my divorce-- from none other than her son!  I’d always assumed her life as a divorced woman was lonely and difficult, but she opened up and dissuaded me of that belief. Her message was clear: single life could be fun! I joined a writing group and began writing about her (working title) Between Marriages: The Diary of a Mid-Life Woman.  A month into the group, I switched gears and began writing about my mother. Two of the key stories in The Girl in the Red Boots were written then.  

Between 1983 and The Girl in the Red Boots, I published two books and dozens of articles.  In the background, I continued writing about my complicated relationship with my mother. Flash forward to 2013. Following my mother’s death, I decided to assemble my writing. Nervous about revealing my personal issues, I enrolled in both a fiction and non-fiction class. In writing two versions of the same story, it became clear that memoir was my stronger voice. 

Writing this book became my ritual of mourning. My mother’s last years were difficult. She spent a decade battling Parkinson’s disease and dementia; it was a slow, sad, debilitating ending.  I was the loyal and devoted daughter who was also despairing and resentful as I plunged into what is now a familiar journey: accompanying our parents to the gates.  I grieved for my mother as she deteriorated, I grieved for myself, too, as I tenaciously stood by her. Giving myself time to write helped me sift through her life and our relationship. 

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The subtitle of my book is Making Peace with My Mother. In writing this book I learned  it wasn’t my mother I needed to make peace with so much as with my ambivalent feelings towards her. I’d always loved her but I’d struggled with my angry and resentful feelings. I puzzled over why I was unable to let go of my grievances. Now that I’ve written the book, I understand why: it’s difficult to let go of a traumatic experience without processing it. 

For much of my life I’d helped patients understand that one doesn’t have to be victimized by cataclysmic abuse to be scarred by trauma. Unwittingly, I’d minimized the impact of events in my own life I would later understand as traumatic. Writing has always helped me release and process my feelings—and helped me face my blind spots. Ultimately it’s been a lifelong resource. 

The main message of this book is that it is possible to heal a wounded relationship. The centerpiece tells the story of how I healed my relationship with my mother, and The Girl in the Red Boots is filled with stories of how I helped my patients, young girls and women with eating disorders, heal as well. Working with patients offered me the opportunity to reflect on my relationship with my mother.  A breakthrough moment occurred when I asked myself why I was able to be compassionate to my patients’ mothers but lacked compassion for mine. Asking this question shifted something important in me. Sometimes simply asking a new question is enough to create change.  

Part memoir, part self-help, here are five takeaways:

1. It’s never too late to change your story and change your life. Even if your parent is dead you have the opportunity to revisit your story and rewrite your life.

2. Love is always imperfect. All of us are flawed, limited and have blind spots. Speaking about creating compelling characters in her compelling memoir, Wild Game, Adrienne Brodeur quoted Vivian Gornick’s advice, “You have to show the loneliness of the monster and the cunning of the victim.” While writing my memoir, I kept those words taped to a bulletin board above my desk. Ambivalence is part of all relationships.

3. No one is as bad as the worst thing s/he has ever done.  For many years I held onto “Bad Mommy” stories, They reinforced my dissatisfaction with my mother. I carried a limited single story. Broadening my perspective helped me heal.

4. We are all imperfect narrators. Your story is simply a story. Now is a good time to examine any stories you tell yourself repeatedly. Do your stories reinforce your grudges?  Are you telling a story as a victim or a survivor? Change your story, change your life.  

5. Stories are our best teachers. Every story you hear has the possibility of changing you. The necessary ingredients are a curious mind and an open heart.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Judith Ruskay Rabinor, PhD, is a clinician, author, writing coach, speaker, and workshop leader. In addition to her New York City private psychotherapy practice, she offers remote consultations for writers, clinicians and families. She has published dozens of articles for both the public and professionals and has authored three books, The Girl in the Red Boots: Making Peace with My Mother (She Writes Press, 2021),  A Starving Madness: Tales of Hunger, Hope and Healing in Psychotherapy (Gurze Books, 2002) and Befriending Your Ex After Divorce: Making Life Better for You, Your Kids and Yes, Your Ex (New Harbinger Publications, 2012). A sought-after speaker and workshop leader, Judy speaks at national and international mental health conferences and runs workshops at spas, colleges and universities and retreat centers. Please visit: https://judithruskayrabinorphd.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/girlinredboots

Twitter: https://twitter.com/DrJudyRabinor 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjudyrabinor/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjudyrabinor/ 

Books That Significantly Influenced My Life/Writing by Melanie D. Gibson

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The best way to learn how to write is to read fervently and write diligently. Here are my top ten books that helped me learn about the joy of reading and the craft of writing:

1. The World According to Garp by John Irving. This was recommended to me by a high school friend. He told me a sign of a good book is that you care about the characters so much you’re worrying about them while you’re doing other things. Ever since, I’ve used that as a barometer for novels I’m reading.

2. The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. Lahiri has a delicate, detailed way of writing that makes the most mundane activities of normal people seem riveting and heart-wrenching.

3. Intern by Dr. Sandeep Jauhar. When I was a hospital librarian, we purchased this memoir, and I fell in love with the memoir genre.

4. Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas. I read this memoir many years ago, and the way the author pulls you into the depths of her experience has stayed with me.

5. The Boy Kings of Texas by Domingo Martinez. I heard a reading of a chapter from the book (“The Mimis”) on NPR. Of course I liked that Martinez is a fellow Texan, and his writing style made his life story fascinating. Memorable memoirs don’t always have to be about celebrities or an amazing, unique feat. Everyday life can be just as interesting.

6. Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer. In terms of extraordinary experiences and “amazing feats,” Krakauer makes the struggle of climbing Mount Everest feel incredibly real. I’ve suffered through the Everest journey many times in my imagination.

7. Writing & Selling Your Memoir by Paula Balzer. This is essential for someone who wants to write a memoir but has no idea where to start.

8. Greenlight Your Book: How Writers Can Succeed in the New Era of Publishing by Brooke Warner. This book lifted me out of my depression of failing to break into traditional publishing. I went indie and haven’t looked back.

9. Uncovered: How I Left Hasidic Life and Finally Came Home by Leah Lax. I only realized after I’d read this memoir that it, like my memoir, was published by She Writes Press. The quality of the writing, editing, and design gave me confidence that I’d made the right choice to sign my contract with the company.

10. On Writing: a Memoir of the Craft by Stephen King. The tone of this book is calm and casual and feels like a conversation with a friend. King offers a welcoming hand to the world of writing.

Connect with Melanie:

Website: http://littleblackbelt.com

FB:https://www.facebook.com/melaniegibsonauthor

Twitter:https://twitter.com/TaekwondoLBB

LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/melaniegibson/

IG:https://www.instagram.com/melaniegibsonauthor/

Tammy Euliano on Writing Fatal Intent

Embarking on the writing of a novel is a truly novel (ha!) experience. As a physician, researcher and teacher, who wrote extensively throughout my career in academic medicine, including an introductory anesthesiology textbook with my mentor, I assumed the words would flow and a book would appear. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Though a life-long reader, I soon realized I’d never analyzed the craft of the books I love, which of course is the author’s intent. Very quickly I learned terms like point-of-view and head-hopping and passive voice and wow, the world of writing is no less dense than medicine. I went to trusty Amazon to find a book to teach me to write a book, which seemed kind of meta, and discovered there were pages and pages of great-sounding titles, and whole books on setting and character and theme…oh my, what had I gotten myself into?

I started with K.M. Weiland’s “Outlining Your Novel” and learned a ton. With that guidance I came up with an outline for the book that had been in the back (and often front) of my mind for several years, a book about a mercy-killer for hire and the surrounding implications. The idea of managing the end-of-life has fascinated me since way before any kid should think about such things, with a debate in my 5th grade class about the fate of Karen Ann Quinlan, a young woman in a persistent vegetative state whose parents wanted her ventilator disconnected, while the State of New Jersey disagreed. I don’t recall what side my 10-year-old-self argued, but the question never left me. Medical technology and the ability to keep the body alive has far out-paced our ethical ability to deal with the implications.

In medical school and residency, the question resurfaced repeatedly, while watching families’ extended mourning in the ICU, and anesthetizing patients for innumerable procedures despite little to no hope of a meaningful recovery. Meanwhile, the absurd cost of medical care in the US frequently made the news, especially expenditures in the last few months of life and final hospitalization.

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As my career advanced and I achieved the goals I’d set for myself, it came time for reinvention, and that’s when this “encore career” became a possibility. The characters of Fatal Intent took up residency in my head, invading my sleep, and even my waking hours. It was time to give them voice. I resigned my time-consuming administrative positions, wrapped up my ongoing research projects, handed off most of my teaching responsibilities to up-and-coming faculty who needed it for their resumes, and dropped to part-time at the hospital so I could make a real investment in my writing.

And so, Dr. Kate Downey, the protagonist in my debut novel, came to life. She is quite a lot like me. Shocking for a debut author, I know. Though a few years my junior, ahem, we share careers as anesthesiologists who specialize in obstetric anesthesia and teach medical students and residents, sometimes using a simulated operating room environment. Our personalities overlap a bit, or did when I was her age, but there the similarities end. Instead of my tragedy-free life to date (knock wood), she suffered the loss of her parents and now the traumatic brain injury of her husband. Boy, are we authors cruel, or what? I have to keep reminding my husband that Kate is not me, and he is not her comatose husband, Greg. As for her dog, I’m afraid mine is just as energetic, spoiled, and completely untrained…times two.

One of Kate’s many blessings, though, is her Great Aunt Irm, who moved in after Greg’s accident. I based this character on a favorite relative of my early-career mentor. Dr. Gravenstein was a model physician and teacher whose Aunt Irm was important in his orphaned childhood in Germany during World War II. He planted the seed that set me on this encore career as an author, so I borrowed Aunt Irm as a bit-part character, except she stole the show. My readers and I have fallen in love with her -- her maternal instincts despite being childless, her loyalty and compassion, her mixed up English idioms.

Without the unwavering support of my husband and kids (and dogs), and the invaluable cheer-leading of my writing buddies, Fatal Intent would not have come to be. It would be several years and innumerable versions before Oceanview would bring it to a bookstore near you (or your computer), but I am hopeful Kate’s story will stimulate discussion about meaningful life and compassionate death. It provides no answers, nor do I have a strong opinion, only that end-of-life is a discussion we need to have, both in our homes with our loved ones, and on a national stage. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Tammy Euliano, MD, is a practicing anesthesiologist and tenured professor of anesthesiology at the University of Florida. In addition to a prolific list of academic publications, YouTube teaching videos, and numerous teaching awards, she has also written award-winning short fiction. Fatal Intent is her debut novel. Tammy lives in Gainesville, FL, with her husband. For more information, please visit https://teuliano.com and follow the author on Facebook.