Q&A with Shari Leid, Table for 51

Table for 51 is such an intimate and all-embracing journey. What inspired you to take this cross-country trip, and why was it important to document it?

On a personal level, I had never traveled across the U.S. before. As a child, I grew up with parents who were born in Seattle, Washington but were interned during World War II because of their Japanese heritage. That left a lasting imprint on my family. I inherited the belief that we might not be welcome everywhere in this country, and I wanted to challenge and rewrite that narrative for myself.

On a larger scale, I saw how, as a nation, we’d retreated into bubbles—physically due to COVID and emotionally due to political and racial divisions. I wanted to prove that we could sit across from anyone, share a meal, and connect on a human level, regardless of background or belief. It’s those human-to-human connections that bridge divides and remind us of our shared humanity. Documenting this journey felt important because it’s a message I believe the world—and I—needed to hear.

Your father’s fear of being unwelcome because of your Asian heritage was a powerful motivator. How did that shape the lens through which you approached each conversation?

I decided to approach the entire experience with the belief that I was welcome everywhere!

You share your own adoption story—abandoned in Seoul and raised by Japanese American parents. How has that shaped your sense of identity and belonging over the years?

As a child, I just wanted to blend in—to be seen as American, not as “different.” My parents were born and raised in the United States and, aside from a few trips to Vancouver, BC, they had never left the country. While they were Japanese American, they didn’t carry much of the Japanese culture into our home, and there was no connection to Korean culture either.

Looking back, I realize I grew up without a strong cultural anchor, which left me with a sense of not fully belonging anywhere. I didn’t feel rooted in a particular heritage or community, and for a long time, that shaped how I saw myself.

It wasn’t until adulthood, and especially through traveling across the U.S. for this project, that I began to truly understand and accept my identity. Today, I identify as Korean American, but not necessarily through the lens of cultural traditions. Instead, I identify as a human being—one who is deeply curious, open-hearted, and committed to connecting with people wherever I go. My identity has become less about labels and more about how I show up in the world, how I love, and how I engage with others.

I'm still getting to know myself...and I'm really liking who I am and even more who I'm becoming, and I love that it has nothing to do with the way I look, the color of my skin. or the shape of my eyes.

You met with 50 people across all 50 states. Was there a particular encounter that profoundly shifted your perspective on connection or belonging?

I wish I could point to just one encounter, because I get asked this question often—but honestly, it was the collective experience that made the biggest impact on me.

While I started this project seeking connection, what struck me most was the incredible difference I found across the country. Yet, as different as each person was—their background, beliefs, and life circumstances—it often felt like I was sitting across from one teacher, just with a different voice and a new face each time.

Every conversation revealed a unique perspective, but together they formed a shared human experience. It reminded me that while we may appear different on the surface, there’s a common thread running through all of us. It was the collective wisdom, rather than a single encounter, that truly shifted how I see connection and belonging.

Along this journey, you made the life-changing decision to end your 26-year marriage. Was there a specific conversation or moment that gave you the clarity or courage to take that step?

There wasn’t one single conversation that led me to my decision—it was a series of conversations that gradually helped me uncover my truth. Listening to the stories of so many people, especially women who had gone through divorce and rebuilt their lives from the ground up, gave me courage. These women—many of them complete strangers—showed me that when one door closes, another truly does open.

That said, there was one conversation that stood out. In Colorado, I met a woman named Connie. I opened up to her about my marriage struggles and my fears around dating again, especially with all the physical scars I now carry from cancer treatments and hip replacements. I remember asking her, “How will I explain my body to someone new?” And she said something I’ll never forget:

“If you meet the right man, you’ll never have to explain.”

That one sentence gave me a deep sense of peace and strength moving forward.

How did this journey help you redefine what “belonging” means—not just in the world, but within yourself?

I realized belonging is less about external validation and more about self-acceptance. I learned to create a table within myself—a space where I no longer needed permission to show up fully as I am. Once I did that, the external world mirrored it back to me. I found belonging in conversations, in quiet moments on the road, and ultimately in my own heart.

What did you learn about resilience—not just in your own story, but through the stories of the people you met?

Resilience isn’t always loud or heroic—it’s often quiet, daily acts of courage. I met people who survived grief, systemic injustice, loss, and reinvention, yet continued to show up for life. Their stories reminded me that resilience is about bending without breaking, and sometimes, about rewriting the rules entirely.

Looking back, how do you think your father would feel about the journey you embarked on to challenge his fears?

I believe he’d be proud and deeply touched by this journey. While his fear was understandable and rooted in his own experiences, I don’t think he’d want it to define the story. I went out into the world with openness, and what I discovered was kindness, curiosity, and humanity in places where fear might have expected otherwise.

In many ways, I felt like he was with me every step of the way. His second career was as an instructor for the deaf at a college, and throughout my travels, I kept noticing signs for schools for the deaf—places that most people wouldn’t typically notice or encounter. To me, those signs felt like little reminders from him, subtle affirmations that he was walking alongside me on this journey.

If you could sit down for one more meal with someone from this journey, who would it be and why?

Oh boy – that’s a loaded question! I can only pick one? Maybe Jennifer in Wisconsin – because I didn’t have enough time with her. I was traveling through several states in a short amount of time when we met – and I would love to have more time to get to know her. I feel our time was cut short!

What do you hope readers take away from Table for 51, especially those struggling with their own sense of belonging or facing big life transitions?

I hope readers walk away knowing they’re not alone in their search for belonging. I want them to feel empowered to start new conversations, take bold steps, and create connections where they may have once seen only barriers. Whether you’re navigating change, heartbreak, or reinvention, there is always an opportunity to flip the box and reimagine what’s possible.

If you could describe your journey in three words, what would they be?

Vulnerable. Transformational. Brave.

About Table for 51:

Author Shari Leid—abandoned in a cardboard box with no identifying information in Seoul, South Korea, and adopted by Japanese American parents—embarks on a remarkable journey across the U.S. to challenge her father’s fears of being unwelcome because of their Asian faces.

In Table for 51, Shari meets strangers and reconnects with people from her own past, sharing a meal in every state. From bustling city cafés to peaceful countryside tables, each encounter reveals the power of human connection.

Through these fifty heartfelt conversations, Shari discovers the magic of belonging and the courage to embrace change, ultimately ending her turbulent twenty-six-year marriage.

Buy on Amazon Kindle | Audible | Paperback

Q&A with author Jeffrey Dunn, Whiskey Rebel

Whiskey Rebel explores identity, friendship, and the meaning of freedom. What inspired you to write this story, and why did you choose these themes?

That’s a lot. Let’s start with friendship. Back in high school my best friend and I read Richard Brautigan’s A Confederate General from Big Sur and fancied we were the characters Jessie and Lee Mellon. In college we wrote letters back and forth under these personas. Forty-five years later, I decided I wanted to write a novel that extended our friendship, a picaresque western buddy novel, this novel: Whiskey Rebel.

When it comes to identity, only the speaker/recorder Punxie is struggling with this concept. His buddy Hamilton Chance and the other characters don’t have the luxury of navel gazing. After all, an identity crisis only is nurtured in a well-tended garden. Psychologists charge $150 an hour. When it comes to Punxie, his identity crisis is born of social dislocation and failed expectations. He is looking for friends and ultimately a home. He is looking for a country. Hopefully “finding his true self” alleviates his crisis.

Freedom, now that’s the novel’s through line, and I invite readers to dive into Whiskey Rebel to see the idea of American freedom put through its paces.

The novel follows a cast of characters who have been “battered by the past and left behind by the American Dream.” What drew you to tell their stories, and how do you view their struggles as a reflection of modern America?

When I moved with my family from the Appalachian Rust Belt near Pittsburgh, PA to Washington State, I taught high school English for twenty-six years in struggling logging communities. These students and their families make up a vast swath of America, and for the most part, they are politically invisible. In Whiskey Rebel’s first chapter, Punxie tells the story of the school posters that proved to be a lie and the townsfolk, one of them a classmate, who died of heroin overdoses. As a teacher of these students, I was always aware that the staff parking lot was filled with newest and most expensive cars in town.

The historical Whiskey Rebellion of 1794 plays a role in the novel. How does this moment in history parallel the themes and struggles in Whiskey Rebel?

Two things deepen the plot and characters of a novel: natural history (setting) and human cultural history. After I decided that the Columbia Basin in general and Moses Coulee in particular would be where Hamilton and Punxie were going to make their whiskey, I harkened back to where I grew up, the locale for the first rebellion against the U.S. government, an insurrection only five years after the ratification of the Constitution. I knew a little about this time, but as I did a deeper dive, it was clear to me that America has always been in revolt in some way or another. Current events are hardly unprecedented, although they may seem so to us. I want to make clear that I didn’t write Whiskey Rebel in response to current events. For from it. I finished the rough draft before our now infamous January 6, which is to say that Whiskey Rebel is not a thinly-veiled political tract. Instead, my novel is a work of art that portrays the interactions of five singular people in a setting where they are able to act more freely than if they lived most other places in America.

Punxie Tawney is such a compelling narrator, and his voice feels deeply authentic. How did you develop his character, and did he change during the writing process?

Yes, he changed. Early on there wasn’t much difference between Punxie and Hamiliton. The interest was generated by their audacious language and actions, and Cherry was just the sort of female lust interest that has been brought into existence by too many male writers.

After finishing the rough draft, I first did a radical restructuring of the novel’s events, especially of the first hundred pages. Later, I did radical revisions of Punxie and Cherry. For openers, I popped open a beer, and then I went to work developing Punxie’s background, especially his parent’s relationship. In addition, as Punxie’s speech became more literary, he began to reflect on his choices. He is the one character who uses his own self-awareness to grow and change. In some way, Punxie became more like me in temperament, although certainly not in his backstory or actions.

And Cherry? I’m proud that she goes from boytoy to banshee. She fiercely protects her dignity and is Punxie’s harshest critic. She busts Punxie out of his head and forces him, as she says, to “listen and learn.”

You paint a vivid picture of Washington State’s high desert and Moses Coulee. What is your personal connection to this landscape, and how did it shape the novel?

My family and I live in Eastern Washington State, and we have spent a good bit of time camping and fishing in Central Washington’s Columbia Plateau and Basin. One time when my wife and I were driving along the Columbia River, she said to me, “I lived around here back in high school.”

“It was a bad time, right?” I tested. “That was a long time ago. Do you remember the road?”

“Palisades Road. It’s the only road in Moses Coulee.”

“How far in did you live?” To go there meant returning to her heart of darkness.

“The last farm at the end of the road. About twenty miles in. We were hired hands and only lived there for four months.”

“Do you want to take a side trip?”

“Sure, why not.”

After we swung onto Palisades Road, I thought we were on the moon. I don’t like to describe my experiences as surreal, but Moses Coulee was one otherworldly place. It was this experience that provided me with the bedrock for Whiskey Rebel, the book where Punxie Tawney says about Moses Coulee:

To my left, the basalt wall of the Columbia Gorge steeply dropped down to the coulee floor. Then to my right, the basalt wall abruptly rose again. I imagined a sign stretching across the entrance to Moses Coulee: “PEARLY GATES.” No, not a chance. “ABANDON ALL HOPE.” Again, I didn’t think so. This place didn’t care that much.

The novel follows a picaresque structure, with Punxie and his companions moving through different experiences and encounters. What made this storytelling style the right choice for Whiskey Rebel?

Because I started with Richard Brautigan’s A Confederate General from Big Sur as a touchstone, Whiskey Rebel’s genesis is picaresque, or in the vernacular, a real hoot. This style is very Western American and follows in the tradition of On the Road, Only Cowgirls Get the Blues, and even Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. And as fun as such a novel can be, I was encouraged when my developmental editor Fran Leibowitz said the novel could be so much more, and now it is.

Whiskey Rebel raises deep questions about the American Dream. After writing this book, how do you personally define freedom?

Me? As a writer, my authority is beside the point. I do like the place Punxie comes to at the end of Whiskey Rebel. I think it’s best that readers take the journey for themselves, from the novel’s beginning to its end.

What do you hope readers take away from this novel?

I don’t hope other than an enjoyable, thoughtful read. Unpacking the suitcase that is myself, I find almost fifty years of epiphanies about the reading process. Forty-one years of teaching high school English, much of it supporting students who were two or more years behind grade level on the developmental reading scale. A PhD in English Literature and Cultural Studies. Lots of reading in cognitive psychology. A deep dive into dyslexia, ADHD, and high functioning autism. And through it all, I know that as a writer I make squiggly lines and readers use their background knowledge to make meaning from what they decode. No two readers read the same book.

You’ve built a reputation for crafting rich, evocative settings and unforgettable characters. What’s next for you as a writer? Are you working on another project?

I’m posting cultural commentary as Culture Raven on Substack and as Jeffrey Dunn, PhD on Medium.

I’ve also just started a new work of long form magical realism set in and around Spokane, WA, a place of marvelous natural and human history. The odd-numbered chapters feature Anise Finocchia, a young woman who willfully keeps her eyes closed and feels her way through life. Her avatar is Turk (turkey vulture). The even-numbered chapters feature the Christian Saint Patrick, who after being reincarnated as the Boddhisattva Patrick, is reborn again as Spokane Patrick. His avatar is Fly (dragonfly). Eventually, Anise’s and Patrick’s paths meet, all under the watchful presence of Mountain Whitefish. Currently, the manuscript begins:

Anise Finocchia’s mom died today.

Hellbent on survival, her mom had solicited a van, one that was stopped at the intersection of Sprague and Napa in Spokane, WA. She was putting on a show by sucking on a lollipop like a little girl. The driver liked what he saw and motioned for her to hop in. She did so, and without saying a word, they drove to an alley and parked.

About Whiskey Rebel:

A shell-shocked soldier returns home, questioning the very meaning of American freedom.

While panning for gold, Iraq-war veteran Punxie Tawney meets Hamilton Chance, a barefoot, manic, obsessive drummer with a burning desire—to distill tax-free whiskey just like his forefathers during the American Whiskey Rebellion of 1794. The two join forces, set up shop in the rugged high desert of Washington's Columbia Basin, and begin producing Westcoulatum Good Goddamned 1794 Freedom Whiskey. But soon their alcohol-fueled idyll is disrupted by Cherry, a.k.a. the Aphrodite of Wenatchee, and her best friend Loyalhanna, a woman so traumatized by her past that she refuses to speak to men. Plus there's the indigenous hustler, Sam the Man, and before long, out where "the rattlesnakes lie out in sage leaf bikinis," the cast of quirky characters discovers that freedom is not a one-size-fits-all concept.

Drawing inspiration from the annals of U.S. history, Jeffrey Dunn's literary novel Whiskey Rebel paints a riveting portrait of characters left behind by the American dream, engaging readers in a thought-provoking tale about identity, freedom, and the ongoing pursuit of happiness.

Buy on Amazon Kindle | Bookshop.org

The Inspiration Behind My Writing by Patricia Leavy

Inspiration never happens the same way twice which is why I’m still so in love with writing.

Sometimes I’ll watch a movie, and a different story starts to play in my mind. I’ll tune out the story I’m seeing and let the new story unfold in my mind. Other times I’ll hear a song or see a painting, and it will spur my imagination. Sometimes there’s a current event or hot topic that I’m interested in and that leads to a novel.

I have a doctorate degree in sociology and was a professor for many years before deciding to be a full-time author. There’s no doubt that my sociological lens plays a role in the things that inspire me and how I construct my story worlds. As an academic, my main areas of expertise were relationships and the arts. When you read my novels, you can see right away that’s what they’re all about. I think of each of my novels as being about love, art, and something else. It’s how that “something else” comes to me and then develops that keeps it interesting for me. I’m a really big believer that you need to seek inspiration and work for it. Creativity fuels creativity. It’s why no matter what I write every single day—weekends, holidays, vacations. I don’t write all day every day, but I do write every day. It’s about discipline.

The more you do it even when it’s difficult, the more inspiration strikes.

About After the Red Carpet

For fans of Tessa Bailey and Hannah Grace, After the Red Carpet is a feel-good, contemporary celebrity romance about what happens after the fairy-tale beginning as two lovers work toward their own true meaning of “happily ever after.”

After legendary Hollywood star Finn Forrester proposed to philosopher Ella Sinclair on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival, the couple captivated the press and public with their real-life fairy tale. Now they vow to prioritize their romance and live an adventure of their own making. Ella moves into Finn’s Beverly Hills mansion and must adjust to his world. Finn, secretly afraid of losing Ella, is determined to make everything perfect for his betrothed. Meanwhile, Ella wants nothing more than to retain her own identity as they build their new life together. All the while, she is writing a philosophical treatise on love, exploring the question: when we love so deeply, where do we end and where does the other begin?

In this highly anticipated follow-up to The Location Shoot, will Ella and Finn finally live the life they’ve dreamed of? See how their epic romance unfolds, after the red carpet.

Buy on Amazon Kindle | Paperback | Bookshop.org

About the Author

Patricia Leavy, PhD, is an award-winning, best-selling author. She was formerly Associate Professor of Sociology, Chairperson of Sociology & Criminology, and Founding Director of Gender Studies at Stonehill College. She has published more than forty books; her work has been translated into many languages, and she has received more than one hundred book honors. Her last novel, The Location Shoot, was featured on Ms. Career Girl‘s “10 Perfect Books to Get Your Fall Reading List Started” and was the 2023 Firebird Book Awards 1st Place Winner in 4 categories: Contemporary Novel, Pop Culture Fiction, Romance and Summer Beach Read. Patricia has also received career awards from the New England Sociological Association, the American Creativity Association, the American Educational Research Association, the International Congress of Qualitative Inquiry, and the National Art Education Association. In 2018, she was honored by the National Women’s Hall of Fame and SUNY-New Paltz established the “Patricia Leavy Award for Art and Social Justice.” Patricia lives in Maine. In addition to writing, she enjoys art, reading, and travel.

Q&A with Kay Smith-Blum, Tangles

Tangles is your upcoming debut novel to be released on December 3rd. It’s said to be a suspense-filled 20th-century historical environmental thriller. What sparked the idea for this book? What does the title mean in relation to the novel’s plot and theme?

I had an odd dream, of a mass of red hair floating on a body of water and the sensation of peering down at it and realizing it wasn’t wet. When the dream recurred a second night, I wrote it down in my journal. Within days, I ran into two long-time acquaintances who both had grown up in Eastern Washington near the Hanford Nuclear Plant. They referred to it as “The Area” and down the rabbit hole of research I went. But the idea of the tangled mass of hair begat the title and the intricate web of government and corporate deception in the name of both war and long beyond the Cold War is the through thread of the tale.

The Cold War era often evokes images of secrecy and fear. Tangles touches on government-mandated secrecy and Cold War politics. How much research did you conduct on the Hanford site and its real-world implications for this story?

Eight months of research, including conversations with over 20 experts in the nuclear and history of science fields, created the basis for the novel. Multiple oral histories at both the Hanford History Project and the Atomic Heritage Foundation provided inspiration for many of my characters. Getting the language and the facts right involved a lengthy process of vetting by numerous scientists, historians, nuclear engineers, medical researchers, park rangers, and former Tri-Cities residents that spanned over a year. I was lucky to have a pal in Gerry Pollett, WA State Legislator, who spearheaded the first community advocacy effort in the toxic waste cleanup – which is far from done! He educated me on the risks at the Superfund sites (Hanford includes 3 sites) today. My source list for the plot points includes 13 non-fiction books and multiple other resources, including peer-reviewed papers from various scientific journals. 

The story balances a love story with a mystery. How did you approach blending these elements together?

It was oddly organic. Mary developed from listening to oral testimony of Hanford’s former employees and Luke came about in reading about an amazing advocate, Tom Bailie. His persistence, despite all the naysayers in the 60s inspired! The A house – one of the alphabet houses (duplexes) built by DuPont as Richland WA came into being – felt like the right vehicle to create a generational connection between the WWII years and the Cold War. Most of those houses still exist today. The human element is essential to the story and Mary’s disappearance (creating the mystery) tags with multiple accounts I read of folks being summarily dismissed by Dupont and/or the government at all of the Manhattan Project sites. The science demanded a light touch and blending it into the love story sort of found me. Making their mutual love of science the key to Mary and Luke’s relationship helped me build out their characters in a unique way.

The book celebrates the courage of wronged women and fatherless sons. What compelled you to focus on these specific groups?

My writing focuses on debunking a lot of tropes of the mid-20th century. Women were still quite restricted in the 1940s, ’50s, and ’60s and I hope to educate – in a non-teachy way – young women about how recent our freedoms are. Fathers abandoning their first wives – and their children in the process- is still prevalent in our society, but no one created alternative TV shows to the Ozzie and Harriet series until decades later. Offering up stories of the realities of our culture that counter the ‘male breadwinner’ trope, or the ‘little woman’ trope is an important part of our social history too often ignored in fiction. So many women and children have suffered these narratives and I wanted to honor their stories.

Mary’s disappearance is a key mystery in the book. Can you tell us more about her character and what she represents within the larger narrative?

Mary is an homage to multiple women in my own life who were career women long before it became the norm. Mary’s quiet courage in fighting against the established societal dictates is something I saw in the women who were pivotal in my youth. Teachers, secretaries, business owners and volunteers who inspired me to pursue a career along with several other avenues (fundraiser, public official, and writing). Like Mary, all of these women made a difference in their communities by mentoring others – the way Mary does Luke – and by digging deep to find the strength to weather the obstacles thrown in their path. Mary’s strength, her willingness to sacrifice much for the common good and her children, along with her perpetual optimism, are all qualities of the women who shaped me.

Luke’s father's death and his own cancer diagnosis are pivotal moments in the book. How does that play into the story?

Fatherless sons have a tough row to hoe. So many young men in our society are growing up without fathers or males to help guide them. Luke’s rage at his father’s death set the stage for me to include this theme, and how difficult it is for such boys to find their way as adults without a male figure. I think that is part of the reason Luke loses his father when he does.

How do the relationships between Luke and the people around him shape his journey?

In the original story, I had several professors at the college level mentoring Luke, but in service to the narrative, that part of the tale was cut. Harry became Luke’s sounding board as a doctoral student and Walker, a key friend, opens Luke’s eyes to much social injustice. Helen motherly guidance and Mary’s support of Luke during his adolescent years shaped his outlook on women. Mary and Luke’s relationship allowed Luke, eventually, to understand what love is really about.

Now that your book is done and complete, do you have any advice for aspiring authors who want to publish a book?

Write long and edit like crazy. And always remember, your reader is smarter than you think -don’t underestimate them.

Where can readers find you? 

www.KaySmith-Blum.com

Insta @discerningKSB

Facebook @kay.smithblum

X @kaysmithblum

Linkedin @Kay Smith-Blum

TikTok @KSBwritesfiction

You can grab your copy of Tangles on Amazon Kindle | Audible | Paperback | Bookshop.org

Q&A with Adrian Emery, Tao Tuning

Adrian, could you start by sharing a bit about the inspiration behind writing TaoTuning?

As a youth I wanted to build a better world – one in which people were happier in their lives and more successful. I studied extensively over many years exploring the various narratives, paradigms and belief systems that humanity employs to explain what life is all about.

I also studied psychology and personal development, particularly the positive psychology movement, eventually developing my own counselling technique that I called TaoTuning, as it is a personal process of spiritual attunement to ensure your life is ‘on-track’ and meaningful to you. 

I discovered the importance of understanding your ‘Why’ or what gives your life meaning and purpose for you as an individual. It ties it all together and gives you that resilience in hard times. Your why becomes your joy and your friend.

How does this book build upon the concepts introduced in your first book, Personal Sovereignty?

These two books are part of a trilogy called The Temple of Understanding. Personal Sovereignty teaches you how to be sovereign as an individual, how to make your own decisions free from the influence of external forces, how to be captain of your own ship and chart your own course. How to be your own navigator and determine your own destiny.

But having chosen a path, one then needs to be able to execute those decisions successfully. TaoTuning is the ‘how’ that comes after the ‘why’. Otherwise, decisions become lame, and we are crippled in our personality. We become prisoners of our own weaknesses.

It is essential to be successful in achieving one’s goals if one wants to be truly happy and fulfilled. Failure does not lead to contentment.

You emphasize the importance of making sovereign decisions in the first book. Can you explain how this foundation is critical for mastering the flow in life as discussed in the sequel?

You have to be authentic, congruent and sincere. It has to be your life that you live not one bestowed upon you by another, whether that other is parent, teacher, society or tradition. You have to be true to yourself. So, learning how to listen to your own inner voice is essential.

It is by this means of going within that one ‘generates’ the wave. You can only truly ride your own wave if you want to be in the flow. If it is someone else’s it will not last. It will not have duration over time.

So personal sovereignty is the essential starting point or foundation for building a happy and successful life and living in the zone of flow.

What do you mean by the "zone of flow" and why is it so essential for optimizing life's potential?

In modern psychology, being in the flow is associated with peak performance states which only last so long and then you are back to your ‘default setting’ whatever that is. It may be rock climbing, an elite sport, being a musician and so on that gets you there, but once it is over you return to your normal psychological space.

I believe we need to live our lives that way and spend as much time in flow as possible. I believe it is our natural state of being and our birthright. So, we need to learn to live in what I call the zone of flow.

You may not always be in that peak state, but you can live your life in the zone. You must be in that zone for a flow experience to happen. Being in the flow must become the way one lives on a daily basis, so that one optimises every aspect of one’s life not just one’s chosen peak sport or hobby. 

Being in the zone of flow is a way of living.

You mention becoming a master practitioner of TaoTuning. Can you explain what TaoTuning Is and how it helps in riding cosmic waves?

TaoTuning is the discipline of living one’s life that way. It is an art and a science. It is very much like a martial art or a spiritual discipline. One must be acutely aware of the flow and its nuances. Life is a constant process of change, and one must become extremely sensitive and agile to the almost imperceptible changes happening in one’s life before they become tsunamis.

We want to be abreast of the wave not getting dumped by it because we are asleep at the wheel. Life is an incredibly exacting skillset. One must be aware, awake and mindful 24/7 – all the time.

Being a master practitioner means anticipating and negotiating change before it manifests as a danger in your life. It is a constant dialogue or conversation.

Discovering one's sole/soul purpose is a key theme in your book. What strategies or practices do you recommend for individuals seeking to find their purpose?

Each of us is totally unique – that is the true gift of life. We all have unique talents. To be authentic and to express that authenticity with joy and boldness is absolutely essential for happiness.

Your why is your purpose. It does not need to be grand or famous, but it does need to be congruent and authentic. It has to make sense to you. It is your story. It is the plot and the moral of your story. It is what joins the dots together into a meaningful and comprehensive whole.

Without that rudder you are adrift on the ocean of turbulence and self-doubt. Your life wanders all over the place. You very easily get influenced and lost.

You talk about living a life filled with joy, wonder, and ease. How do you reconcile this with the inevitable challenges and hardships we face? 

One of the key characteristics of flow is being challenged. One cannot achieve without challenge. One must be stretched to become more, to arrive at a higher personal best. This is what flow is all about – this personal stretch.

We must face adversity, obstacles and hardship and turn them into stepping stones or opportunities for growth. This is the process of personal development. Otherwise, everything becomes inert – stuck in the mud of insignificance. Time passes you by and you lose all significance as an individual spirit.

Adversity forces you to stop, turn within and grow. As you grow, you overcome the challenge and become victorious. There is no victory without adversity.

How do you envision the final book of the trilogy building upon the themes discussed in this book?

BeComing One is the final step. Once one is sovereign and then executes one’s life diligently, one arrives at mastery. The separation between individuality and universality ceases to be a burden or a problem. It becomes an infinite joy. One can move effortlessly between the two without losing one’s sovereignty but one is no longer alone or isolated because one has reached home. One belongs!

Mental illness, depression and loneliness are the new pandemic as declared by WHO. Humanity needs to come home, to reconnect to universal brotherhood and sisterhood. We need desperately to find this sense of belonging. We are one species. All life is One.

Is there a final message or piece of advice you would like to share with readers who are just beginning their journey towards personal sovereignty and mastery flow?

Yes, remain vigilant and confident. Do not give up or falter. It is definitely worth making the journey and it does get easier. The hardest step is step one. Every step after that gets easier and more fulfilling. The reward in terms of personal happiness, contentment, joy and serenity is profound.

Life does become a blessing and immense fun. Having fun is important. Life is a gift and it is meant to be enjoyed.

Where can readers connect with you or learn more about your work and upcoming projects?

The best place to start is my website: adrianemery.com. I do a monthly blog which guides people to look at global events a little differently and to live their lives authentically. We need to regain critical thinking and get outside of the false narrative being pushed by the media.

Also Instagram: adrianmoranemery and Facebook: adrianemery.author. I will also be publishing videos on Youtube: Adrian Emery

About Tao Tuning

In this intriguing sequel to Personal Sovereignty, Adrian Emery, author, philosopher and mentor, takes this all-important discussion a step further. In book I of this trilogy, we learnt how to become masters of our own destiny by making those sovereign decisions that are in our best interest.
Decisions determine destiny.

Yet, once we have decided upon our personal life journey, we need to know how to get to our chosen destination. This requires that ability to live one’s life successfully and to become a master of manifestation in the here and now.
We need to learn how to flow with the all-powerful currents of the universe – the Infinite Tao. We all want to live in the flow. Yet it seems so elusive!

In this book, you will learn how to:

• live in the ‘zone of flow’, optimising life’s potential

• master the mechanics and metaphysics of flow

• discover your sole soul purpose for this lifetime

• ride the wave of your destiny to success and happiness

• align the 3 essential forces of fate, destiny and daily life

• become a master practitioner of TaoTuning – to surf the cosmic waves

• lead a meaningful and fulfilling life filled with joy, wonder and ease.

We all want to go with the flow, to experience that ease and simplicity that comes from giving up resistance and vaingloriously trying to swim upstream. But how exactly do we do this? Why are we so resistant? Why are our lives filled with friction, tension and conflict?

Learn the secret and simplicity of just being yourself and allowing the universe and your inner compass to be your guide. Once they work together, in harmony, your life will never be the same. You will live the life of your dreams and your dreams will become your daily reality.

There will be no more inner opposition! You will enter the zone of flow. You will live fully and consciously truly enjoying your creation.

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Q&A with Rachel Gunn, Impact Parenting

What inspired you to write Impact Parenting?

I literally had no idea how to parent my daughters. I often joke that God put me here to share my mistakes so other women could be encouraged. It sounds like a tough life, but really, He’s also given me the ability to pick myself up and move on when I mess up. As a parent, I have had to do that a lot! Throughout my parenting journey, I learned that so many parents feel the way I did, unqualified and alone. 

I wanted to create a resource that empowers parents to make a positive impact on their children's lives while also building their own confidence. My goal was to provide guidance that is both realistic and encouraging, helping parents feel more prepared and supported in their journey, and I want to bring parents together and encourage them. The book is designed to work well as a group study. And my hope is that it will foster conversations among parents, allowing them to share their experiences with each other.

Can you share a brief overview of the main principles you discuss in the book?

There are three overarching principles covered in the book. They are laid out in the first chapter, Parenting Foundations. 

The first principle is parenting for impact versus impulse. This means that we are making intentional decisions as parents that will affect our long-term relationship with our children. It’s so easy–especially when our children are young–to get caught up in putting out the daily fires. We find ourselves on the defense, reacting impulsively to challenges, and basically putting out fires all day. This is impulse parenting and we all do it. The goal, however, is to shift more toward impact parenting.

Impact parenting asks us to shift our focus from the present and its immediate outcomes to the future. We make decisions based on how (and even if) they will impact the future. We may want to give in to our children when they push our boundaries, throw tantrums, and beg incessantly, but when we consider what this will look like in 5 or 10 years, it can help us resist that urge. After all, a twelve-year-old throwing a tantrum is a much different situation than a four-year-old.

The principle based on the stages of parenting is about knowing where we are as parents. Each stage of parenting is different because our children are growing and developing. When we know which stage we are in, what that looks like for us and our kids, and what our kids need from us, then we can parent more confidently. There are a few different versions of the parenting stages. I like Ellen Galinsky’s The Six Stages of Parenthood. Impact Parenting covers the boundaries, teaching, and coaching stages which includes ages one through eighteen. Within each stage, I focus on discipline, communication, and connection. These are three really important aspects of parenting, and I want to help parents understand how to navigate these areas in each stage. 

The third main principle is power-with versus power-over. This principle takes a deeper look into parenting styles. We talk about authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative parenting styles, but the concept can be a bit broad. Authoritarian parenting is often associated with old-school parenting, which many parents don’t see a problem with. However, parenting style is a very general concept asking the question, What kind of parent am I? In reality we all fall under different styles at different times. Overall, I consider my parenting style authoritative. But, in certain situations, I am definitely more authoritarian or controlling, and in others I can be very uninvolved or permissive. 

When we look at the principle of power-over versus power-with, we are looking at ourselves in a more focused way. We are analyzing our actions through a different lens and asking a different question, how do my actions affect my child? This helps us focus first on our actions rather than our parenting as a whole and second on the effects of our actions. We might be able to accept being mostly authoritarian (controlling), but when we reflect on our actions in relation to the power dynamic, it helps us really consider the impact of how we are using our power.

How has your personal experience as a parent influenced the insights and advice you offer in your book?

Living it and learning from my mistakes has deeply influenced what I write and teach. I want parents to know that I get it—I’m learning along with them. I haven’t always done things right, so I can say from experience, “don’t do this.” Instead of prescribing do's and don'ts, I focus on the core issues and teach those principles.

I've also had a lot of experience with advice from well-meaning parents, and I found that much of it just didn’t work for us. It either didn’t align with my beliefs and goals as a parent, didn’t fit our family dynamic, or simply wasn’t effective with my kids. That’s why I focus on principles in the book rather than specific strategies. I aim to educate and empower parents to trust their instincts about their own kids and what is best for them.

One of my favorite stories to tell is about the time I completely ignored my daughter because she hurt my feelings—talk about middle-school behavior! Parents are floored when they hear this. Of course, that was unhealthy. Rather than just saying, “don’t ignore your kids,” I teach the principle of responding instead of reacting. Ignoring can be appropriate at times, but ignoring my daughter as a reaction to my hurt feelings was not okay.

Ultimately, I want parents to understand the principles of healthy parenting and use that understanding to guide them as they choose strategies.

You emphasize intentional parenting. What does intentional parenting mean to you, and why is it important?

To me, intentional parenting is really about understanding our strengths as parents and playing to those. I believe that God gave our children the parents they need for the plans He has for them. So, as parents, our job is not to be the best parent, but to be the best parent we were created to be. In a nutshell, being intentional means that we do our best when we can - we hold ourselves accountable for doing the hard work, making the best choices, and following through with our actions. And when we can’t, we don’t stress over it. We reflect on our goals, values, and our kids’ personalities and strengths. And we use those things to guide us. 

For example, one of our goals as parents is that our children are critical thinkers. So, we have been very intentional about creating a culture in our home that not only encourages them to question the world around them, but teaches them how to do it appropriately. We have encouraged them to ask questions, and to observe the world with a critical eye. We have taught them how to question authority-- from what tone to use to when is the best time. So, they understand that calling someone out in front of a crowd of people will probably not work well, but circling back around and talking privately with someone might get them better results. 

Grades, however, are not the most important to us. So, we don’t stress over them. We make an effort to keep up with their classes and how they are doing, but honestly, we have had years where I’ve barely seen their grades other than report cards. Would this work in every family? Of course not, this is what works for my family. Considering our goals of raising critical thinkers and our kids’ strengths in academics, it works for us. 

Intentional parenting means being deliberate about your priorities and letting go of the rest. We don’t have to kill ourselves trying to be the best in every area of parenting. We just need to leverage our strengths and give ourselves grace for our weaknesses. 

How do the stages of parenting differ, and why is it important to recognize these differences?

The stages of parenting take us through our children’s developmental stages, and they help us to understand what our children need. When we can recognize where our children are–and by proxy where we are–within the stages, we can better evaluate and respond.

Knowing the different stages can also help us shift our perspective as parents. Sometimes we have expectations about what our kids should or should not be doing, and when we understand where they are within these stages, we can shift our expectations and decrease the gap between our expectations and reality. 

For example, understanding that it is natural for our children to push boundaries in the boundaries stage can help us shift our mindset. We can expect this behavior and see it as our toddlers doing their job and we are doing ours. And in doing so, hopefully let go of some of the frustration. Also, understanding that it is natural for our teens to pull away from us during the coaching stage can help us release them to do so. When we don’t realize that this is a natural part of this stage, it can feel very personal and hurtful.

Knowing where we are and what to expect during each stage can help us respond as parents rather than react. 

What unique challenges do parents face at each stage, and how can they address them?

In the boundaries stage, I think we struggle with being future-focused. The future seems so far away and our time with our kids seems almost eternal. It is easy to put off the main goals of this stage–establishing our authority and setting boundaries for our toddlers. The problem is that they don’t want boundaries and they have an infinite amount of energy. This can be difficult because they are so persistent and honestly, so cute! Let’s face it, toddlers being bad are some of the funniest humans on this earth! It is easy for us when they are so tiny and cute to let them slide right past the boundaries we set, but establishing our authority is so important in order to establish a healthy foundation. 

This challenge is really a mindset issue. We can have all the strategies in the world, but unless we buy into the importance of establishing our authority and commit to the work of doing that, it just won’t happen. When we take the time to think it through though, it can help us understand what it means to fight for authority (or power or control) for the next 17 years or so. Because if we don’t establish our authority early, then we will be spending a lot of our time as parents trying to regain it. The best thing we can do during this stage to help is to decide and commit to doing the work of setting and holding boundaries.  

As for the coaching stage. I’m writing a whole book on this stage because, well, teenagers. Seriously though, I think a big challenge in the coaching stage is navigating our children’s maturity. We see them physically developing into young adults. They are incredibly mature in some areas, but we also get glimpses of their child-like qualities at the same time. It can be difficult to separate the young adults they are becoming from the children they still are. Sometimes their transition from mature to childish and back can happen so fast that we are left with our heads spinning, so it can be really difficult to know which version to parent. 

I think this is where our patience can be really tested as parents. We see this image of a young adult in so many ways, that it can be frustrating when they act like children. I know in my own house we can go from “I can do that for you” to “why do I have to do everything around here?” to “hey, I made dinner” to “I can’t. I have like a million things to do” all in the course of a day. We see them managing their school work, talking to their teachers, and excelling at their jobs, but they can’t seem to talk on the phone. One day they are super teens–productive, respectful, helpful around the house. The next they are tired and sullen. It is really difficult to hit the target in this stage. 

I would love to say we can address this challenge by just doing blank. But it is really about patience and understanding. I can’t give parents patience, but I can help with the understanding part. This stage is a struggle for everyone involved, including our teens. They don’t always understand what is happening and why they are feeling so insecure at times. One of the best things we can do is ask our teens if they need our help, and then listen to them. If they say yes, ask them what they need. If they say no, then step back, but continue to be there if they need us. 

Can you discuss the importance of power dynamics in the parent-child relationship and how they impact a child's development?

The power dynamic in the parent-child relationship is an interesting one. It is not a dictatorship like some of our parents may have led us to believe. It’s also not an equal relationship like friendship or partnership. There is an imbalance of power, and if we establish our authority with our children during the boundaries stage, then we should hold the power. If we don’t establish our authority early on, then likely our children hold the power. 

When our children have the power then we will find ourselves constantly struggling to get it back resulting in more impulse parenting–putting out fires all day. For those of us who have the power, we have a choice to make: we can use our power to guide our children or we can use our power to control our children. This is an important choice that requires intentionality as parents. How we use our power will greatly affect our relationship with our children. 

In a healthy parent-child dynamic, we use power with our children rather than hold it over them. This means that we come alongside our children and guide them as they learn to navigate the world around them. Using power-with our children means that we are having more conversations and less consequences. We are using boundaries that are there to help them make good choices rather than rules that give them to wiggle room. 

One example of this in action is when my own daughter had a decision to make one day and couldn’t reach me. She was at the store with her sister, picking up some ice cream for the family. She called and told me the ice cream was buy-one-get-one free and asked if she should get two. I could have told her what to do, but I asked her what she thought. We talked briefly about it, and she decided to get both. Shocker, right? This is an example of me using my power with her and helping her think through a decision rather than making it for her. 

What advice do you have for parents who are struggling with the challenges of raising teenagers?

First, follow some lighthearted social media accounts. I mean it! There is nothing more calming, validating, and reassuring than seeing a meme about the exact situation you are experiencing. Even as a parent educator, I find myself dumbfounded at some of the things we experience with our teens. And it gives me peace deep in my soul to see it as a meme. It tells me that first, I am not alone and second, this is probably normal. It helps me take a breath and realize that my teen is probably fine. 

In all seriousness, though, our teens' crazy behavior is normal. They need grace and space from us. They are transitioning from childhood to adulthood and that is a process. Consider a skill you’ve learned-maybe math, or an instrument, or a sport. You did not just step in as a seasoned pro. You probably had a lot of ups and downs, mistakes, tough lessons to learn, and even some emotional responses to the process. That is a lot like the process of becoming an adult, so try to let some things slide. They need space to make some colossal mistakes, and then grace again when they do. Really, we just need to make it a mantra. Grace and space. Grace and space. Whenever they do something mean, dumb, or crazy, we just need to repeat it because they'll need one of those things. 

How can parents find encouragement and build their confidence during moments of uncertainty?

First, I would like to say that very little parenting has to be done immediately. Our children are geniuses at making us feel like that decision has to be made right now, this second, or the world will in fact end. But, that is usually pretty far from the truth. When you feel overwhelmed as a parent, don’t be afraid to stop the process and take some time to think, pray, research, talk to a friend, or all of the above. The purchase, the decision, the conversation where they are trying to convince us to do their will, that can all wait. In those moments of uncertainty, it’s okay to press pause and take a breath. 

A huge key to building confidence during moments of uncertainty is to start the process outside of those moments. When we are feeling nervous or uncertain, or really any type of negative emotion, it is easy to let that emotion run free, or even to feed into it. Like with any type of overwhelming emotions, the key is to find the tools to counteract them and practice using or accessing those tools during our times of calm and peace. Some of our tools might be a blog or podcast, or we might follow someone on social media who encourages us and validates the difficulties of parenting, or even a friend we look up to who helps ground us as a parent. 

For those that have this option, a lifeline can really help ground us in the middle of those stressful times. Finding a few trusted friends you can text when you’re stressed or just need a quick answer to a question can be really beneficial. I have several friends like this. We often drop random questions or rants about our current situations. We encourage each other and offer our experiences, ideas, and advice. There are no expectations, no judgment. Just support. 

A portion of the proceeds from your book supports under-resourced parents through seedsofimpact.org. Can you tell us more about this initiative and why it's important to you?

Seeds of Impact is a nonprofit agency in the Greater Birmingham area dedicated to providing education and support programs for parents. Our mission is to help parents break adverse generational cycles and form a healthy perspective on parenting, positively impacting future generations.

We partner with local nonprofits, schools, and churches to support parents who, due to generational patterns and a lack of resources, often repeat the same unhealthy parenting techniques they experienced as children. By introducing new parenting concepts, we empower them to make positive changes. Our goal is to provide a supportive system that helps parents develop healthy habits and transform their approach to parenting, ultimately shifting the trajectory of future generations. We believe the impact of this program will be exponential.

I’m a teacher at heart and one of my favorite things has always been seeing the light bulb go off for my students. I know that feeling of wanting to be a better parent but having no idea how. I am passionate about parenting. For me, the nonprofit is the culmination of those three things with the added bonus of affecting change. It's incredibly fulfilling to know that our work is making a positive impact on families and future generations.

What do you hope readers take away from your book, and how do you envision it impacting their parenting journey?

I would love for parents to walk away with some guiding principles and the confidence to apply them. I envision my book empowering parents to make thoughtful, intentional decisions, fostering a nurturing environment, and ultimately building stronger, healthier relationships with their children. 

What is the most important piece of advice you would give to new parents?

There are so many great answers to this question! Because I believe that parenting is less about our children’s actions and more about how we respond, I am going to speak to the mindset of new parents. I would share this analogy of the parenting expectation gap. I adapted it from a TED Talk given by Rufus Griscom and Alisa Volkman. It illustrates the expectation gap that many parents experience. 

Being a new parent is like this. You pack for a new adventure and, from what you see all around you–what has been advertised to you–you believe you are preparing for something like a trek through a tropical rainforest. It is a difficult trip for sure. Some dangers, some difficult areas, but incredibly beautiful and full of fruit, and even magical–picture perfect, some might say. So, you pack your bags for an adventure in a tropical rainforest. 

Only when you land, you are in Nepal at the base of Mount Everest. You’re looking up in unmitigated awe and fear at the height and depth of what you are seeing. As you begin to climb, you realize that you are sorely unprepared for this adventure. You have never climbed a mountain. You have never tried to survive with such small amounts of oxygen. You have no idea how to take the first step.

This is the expectation gap of parenting. This is why we find ourselves overwhelmed and unhappy. Not only do we have nothing in our brain space to compare it to, we come into it packed and prepared for a totally different and less harrowing–more romanticized–experience. 

So, my advice to new parents is to take some time to acknowledge that there is a gap between what you expect based on your limited experience and the reality of parenting. Remember this story and remind yourself of it in those moments that threaten to undo you. Accept the hardship of parenthood. Accept that you are no different from all the other mothers before you. Accept that you won’t fully grasp the depth of difficulties until we are knee deep in exhaustion and poop smattered clothes, and remind yourself that it will all be okay. 

My hope would be that releasing new parents from the unrealistic expectations would free them to be the best parents that God made them to be. 

How can readers stay connected with you and continue to learn from your work?

I love to hear from readers! They can email me at rachelkgunn@gmail.com. Please send me your thoughts, questions, and stories! Or just drop a line and say hi! To keep up with the nonprofit and my new projects, they can connect here: 

Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn:  @rachelkgunn

Website: www.rachelgunn.com

Seed of Impact: www.seedsofimpact.org

About the Book

Parenting is the Great Equalizer

Let’s face it. No matter our education, culture, background, or experience, we can ALL feel lost as parents from time to time. Raising kids is unpredictable, and it's normal to have moments of uncertainty. It is in those moments of uncertainty we find opportunities to grow, connect, and experience incredible joy.

So let’s talk about it.

In this book, mom and parent educator Rachel Gunn dives into parenting in all its chaotic, messy glory. You'll discover principles that will help you transform your parenting and encouragement that will build your confidence as you navigate each stage of your child's growth. Plus, she shares some of her own parenting stories along the way—because what better way to learn than from someone else’s mistakes?

We’re all in it together.

Whether you're a new parent or navigating the teenage years, you’ll feel right at home. Grab a friend (or a few), and dive in. You’ll find yourselves laughing along the way as you share stories and explore the ups and downs of parenting together.

In this book, Rachel will help you:

• Approach parenting intentionally, focusing on building solid relationships, setting boundaries, and fostering open communication with your child.

• Recognize the stages of parenting and the unique approach that each stage requires.

• Encourage open communication with your child to strengthen their communication skills.

• Use the 3-C approach for discipline and to empower your child to make decisions and learn from their mistakes.

• Understand the power dynamics in the parent-child relationship and which approach empowers children to make responsible decisions.

• Understand the teen brain and navigate the teen years with confidence.

Join the journey.

With the stages of parenting as a roadmap, Rachel will help you transform your parenting approach with principles proven to make a positive impact. Impact Parenting is not just a book; it’s a companion that supports you through the beautiful, complex, and rewarding journey of raising children. You can come back again and again as your children grow and challenge everything you thought you knew.

A portion of the proceeds from each book sold supports under-resourced parents through seedsofimpact.org.

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