5 Reasons To Not Get Married by Boone Brux

In my newest book, Bridesmaid Blues, Dani Brown, the maid-of-honor, has to keep the best man, her ex-boyfriend, away from the groom as a favor to the bride. Dani and Jamie’s relationship didn’t end well, and she was left trying to figure out why he bolted days after she said the L-word. That got me thinking about dating, relationships, and marriage. It’s been years since I’ve had to hit the dating scene, thank God, but I fairly certain the basic reasons for sticking with or ending a relationship haven’t changed much.

These are my top five reasons not to get married. I strongly feel if you’re contemplating taking the plunge and any of these are the reason why, you should rethink your decision. Maybe go to a hot yoga class or get a massage and think it over.

1.    You need somebody to lift heavy things. You can actually hire people for this. It might only cost you a case of beer or a batch of cookies. Even if you have to fork out cold cash, Hank and the Box Boys will eventually leave, and you won’t be forced to watch the Duck Dynasty marathon running all weekend.

2.    You’re bored. I’ve got one word—hobby. Get one. Cosplay, cooking, cucumber art. You can choose as many hobbies as often as you want. Spouses are a lot more difficult and expensive to change.

3.    You need somebody to watch your pets while you go on vacation. I usually like to take my husband on vacation with me, but that might not be for everybody. Again, I’ll point out, a pet sitter or kennel is far cheaper than a spouse.

4.    Threats for your mother. She’ll die a broken woman if you don’t get married. My suggestion is tell her that day can’t come too soon. Guaranteed she will not die, broken or otherwise. You may have to listen to her crap, but you’re an adult, that’s what caller ID and peep holes are for.

5.    Lastly, everybody else is doing it. All your friends are getting married and you feel left out. All your friends might be getting their nipples pierced too, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Like with nipple piercing, if your piercer, or fiancée, are only so-so, chances are things are going to end painfully and you’ll end up regretting your choice. 

So there you have it, a few standard guidelines that will help you know when to say yes to the dress and when not to. I’d love to hear your reasons for not getting married.

About Boone Brux

Boone is a bestselling author in both fantasy and series romance. She began writing in an attempt to ward of the slow decomposition of her mind while being an at-home-mom of twin toddlers. It soon became clear that storytelling was her true calling.

Her books range from epic fantasy, full of hot heroes and demons, to humorous urban fantasy, where hockey moms are grim reapers and Greek gods live next door. Though she loves writing romance, Boone prefers stories where she gets to blow something up or kill somebody.

She calls Alaska home and lives there with her husband, daughters, rescue dog, Oreo, and Velma Underfoot, a black cat who rules the house.

You can reach Boone via Website | Twitter | Facebook | Pinterest

About Bridesmaid Blues

A wedding. An ex. And a secret.

Maid-of-Honor Dani Brown can handle anything that comes her way when it comes to her best friend’s wedding. That is, until the bride asks for a huge favor-Dani needs to distract the best man, who happens to be Dani’s ex. The ex she has fantasized dismembering for a year now.

The ex she’ll have to suck it up and play nice with if this wedding is to go off without a hitch.

Businessman Jamie Kingsland is back in Seattle for a wedding. There’s just one problem – the maid of honor wants him dead. Except she doesn’t. Even though he knows he broke her heart last year when things got too serious and he panicked and left, she’s being way too nice about it now. And it scares him.

Something is up with his favorite bridesmaid, and he’s determined to find out what…

Buy the Book

Top 10 Things I Learned from Reading SF/F by Raven Oak

When writing guest articles, I often flounder with what topic I want to cover that I haven’t already done on my own website because let’s face it—I post on there far too often. With the flood of Top 10 Lists on social media from Buzzfeed and other sites, I decided to crawl out of my comfort zone of talking writing and gaming to examine what I’ve learned from reading science fiction & fantasy. While I could, I promise I won’t make this all about Joss Whedon, no matter how much his mad genius has taught me. Without further ado, here are the top ten things I’ve learned from reading SF/F:

1.    Worldbuilding and scenery porn are either loved or hated, depending upon how old you were when you discovered J. R. R. Tolkien.

2.    We would destroy any alien society we come into contact with, no matter what the prime directive says, because we’re a self-centered people afraid of anything different.

3.    Magical systems must have rules until you’ve published your fourth book in the series. Then you can do whatever you want by the laws of being famous.

4.    Friendship is magic. (No really—friendship among characters will carry a character farther than flying eagles, walking trees, and wise old magicians.)

5.    There’s always a bigger sword.

6.    Faster-than-light travel is probably improbable, if not impossible. Yet we continue to dream.

7.    Few care why the story works if the story is good.

8.    Science fiction isn’t about the future. Instead, it serves as a social commentary about the time during which it was written.

9.    Be yourself because no one else will be, even if you’re a villain. 

10.  Late at night in a fog as thick as your head, someone went fishing. A slithering something wearing fins snaked through the water and walked on land. The fisherman screamed and fled to the village where he told folks he’d seen something of the gods. And thus, a mythical creature was born for writers everywhere to pontificate about.

Always remember that truth is stranger than fiction.

---

Raven Oak is the author of the bestselling fantasy novel Amaskan’s Blood and the upcoming  space operas Class-M Exile and The Eldest Silence. She spent most of her K-12 education doodling stories and 500 page monstrosities that are forever locked away in a filing cabinet.

When she’s not writing,  she’s getting her game on with tabletop games, indulging in cartography, or staring at the ocean. She lives in Seattle, WA with her husband, and their three  kitties who enjoy lounging across the keyboard when writing deadlines approach. 

Raven is currently at work on Amaskan’s War and The Eldest Traitor.

What Life Looks Like When We Pull Back the Filter by Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke

Let’s agree on something. We are all guilty of uploading a photo to Instagram or Facebook that, with just the right angle, lighting and filter makes the image look damn near perfect.  What we don’t post are the twenty pictures we took just to get the one that we then triple filtered and cropped before we uploaded it. Understandably so, we all want others to see us in the best light (pun intended) whether we’re nestled up to our spouse looking hopelessly in love on our anniversary or our child is smiling angelically in her Sunday best or the rescue dog we adopted is greeting card cute as he pants for the camera.

And while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to put our best self out there, the photos we share typically represent the way we want our lives to appear, not the way they actually are.

So in honor of our latest novel, THE STATUS OF ALL THINGS, about a social media obsessed woman who gets the chance to literally re-write her fate on Facebook, we decided to post the photos that we’d typically delete faster than you can say #nofilter or #blessed.

Oh Lily. Look at you batting your big brown eyes for the camera. I’m going to post this shot for my followers because I know they will think you’re all as cute as I do.

But what you and I both know is what they’re never going to see. The shoe you chewed like it was a tennis ball that had done you wrong. #damndog

It’s our fifth wedding anniversary and while, yes, we are still in love, we only posted the shot of us at the restaurant (aren’t we so cute?) that the twenty-year-old hostess had to take seventeen times because she was shooting up at us (and that is not a good thing when you are forty).

What we didn’t post was the shot of us just thirty minutes later when, instead of going out after dinner as planned, we called the sitter and told her there was going to be a change of plans. We headed home, put on our sweat pants and binged on Netflix. #becausewearelame #andanoldmarriedcouplealready #pleasenotemydoublechins

And then there’s my four-year-old. Doesn’t she look sweet? Posing in her princess best? As if every time I ask her to do something, she says, yes, mommy, whatever you say. Well, this was the picture I took after. After she got her way. #sheusuallywins #makethatalways

The next picture was taken before. When she had the tantrum that would make Mike Tyson shake his head. Here’s a freeze frame from the video I took and plan to use as leverage when she really is the teen she acts like now. #apicturereallyisworthathousandwords #iamnotabovebribery

Wow-Doesn’t my hair look UH-amazing? And, look, I’m kind of smirking and half-smiling like I have a really fantastic secret that I only share with other really wonderful people. And it only took me seventeen shots and five filters to get this picture just right! So there!

What I didn’t show you was the nasty pic, with dye smeared all over my face (and eyebrows!) and the clock showing I’d been stuck in that chair for FIVE hours. Because my hair starting growing gray when I turned thirty, of course. But don’t tell anyone, okay? It will just be our little secret.

OMG, aren’t they so cute! They went from being strays on the mean streets of the city to sleeping in a warm bed each night and playing tug-o-war! Aren’t I the BEST person EVER, because I rescue dogs and take adorable pictures of them living their new lives?

What I didn’t reveal was how one of them (And I can’t figure out which one?) thinks it’s hilarious to poop on the one piece of carpeting in the entire house. Yep, we have one two foot rug and that’s where’s they leave the stinky presents. And puke. And dead rats they find in the yard. And now I need to buy a steam cleaner.

Not only do I have amazing low maintenance red hair and well-behaved rescue animals, I’m also an fantastic cook! See this? You may thing it’s greasy, unhealthy fried rice, but it’s actually cauliflower DISGUISED as fried rice! Yes, I’ll accept the Mother of the Year award now. Please and Thank you.

What I didn’t show was what my kitchen looked like afterward. And yes, that’s ketchup. Those little effers put KETCHUP on my beautiful creation and didn’t rinse one of these dishes. #howdoesthatevenmakesense

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke have been best friends for twenty-five years and survived high school and college together. Liz lives in San Diego with her husband and two children. Lisa, a former talk show producer, now lives in Chicago with her husband, daughter, and two bonus children.

About The Status of All Things

What would you do if you could literally rewrite your fate—on Facebook? This heartwarming and hilarious new novel from the authors of Your Perfect Life follows a woman who discovers she can change her life through online status updates.

Kate is a thirty-five-year-old woman who is obsessed with social media. So when her fiancé, Max, breaks things off at their rehearsal dinner—to be with Kate’s close friend and coworker, no less—she goes straight to Facebook to share it with the world. But something’s changed. Suddenly, Kate’s real life starts to mirror whatever she writes in her Facebook status. With all the power at her fingertips, and heartbroken and confused over why Max left her, Kate goes back in time to rewrite their history.

Kate's two best friends, Jules and Liam, are the only ones who know the truth. In order to convince them she’s really time traveled, Kate offers to use her Facebook status to help improve their lives. But her attempts to help them don’t go exactly as planned, and every effort to get Max back seems to only backfire, causing Kate to wonder if it’s really possible to change her fate.

In The Status of All Things, Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke combine the humor and heart of Sarah Pekkanen and Jennifer Weiner while exploring the pitfalls of posting your entire life on the Internet. They raise the questions: What if you could create your picture-perfect life? Would you be happy? Would you still be you? For anyone who’s ever attempted—or failed—to be their perfect self online, this is a story of wisdom and wit that will leave you with new appreciation for the true status of your life.

My Three Writing Wishes by Lynn Cahoon

A genie grants you three writing-related wishes: what are they and why? 

First wish – I have the ways and means to write full time. I’m somewhat leery of getting things for free – ever read The Monkey’s Paw? But as long as this is a good genie, I’ll ask for enough money to be able to stay home and play with my imaginary friends all day. And access to good health insurance, just in case. (I know, that might be more than one wish, but this is a good genie, right?)

Second wish – A metabolism that lets me eat what I want and never gain weight. Okay, not like Stephen King’s Thinner, but at least be able to enjoy some ice cream or a Hershey’s with Almonds, without dreading stepping on the scale later.

Third wish – To be draped in jewels… Wait, no, that’s not my wish, I think Dressed to Kill’s Sherry King is taking over the post. I must have paused too long thinking. A career I enjoy, good food (that doesn’t make me fat), those two are taken care of. I know, friends and family around to make me laugh and realized the joy of giving and receiving love.

---

About Lynn Cahoon

I love happy endings. My stories are all about  life in small town America and building the family that you deserve. You know, the people who love you unconditionally – even when you’re less than perfect.

Personal stuff?  I’m a seven-year breast cancer survivor.  I’m married to my own hero who shaved his shoulder length hair when I lost mine during chemo. I’m the proud mom of a computer engineer (although I don’t know what that means.) And I have four fur babies.

I’m an active member of MORWA, my local RWA chapter.

My debut was THE BULL RIDER’S BROTHER released June 4th, 2012 from Crimson Romance. Cowboys aren’t easy to love—but they sure are easy on the eyes. I bet you’ve felt the same way my heroine Lizzie has, at least once or twice. Since that time, THE BULL RIDER’S MANAGER, came to your favorite digital store. If flying was hell, waiting to fly was purgatory. Both are available in print as well as digital. And the long awaited bull rider story is finally out and available.  Check out THE BULL RIDER’S KEEPER!

For those of you who like a little magic in your stories — The Council Series starts with A MEMBER OF THE COUNCIL. A rogue hunter, a clueless witch and a mission to save an unknowing world.   The second book, RETURN OF THE FAE, continues Parris and Ty’s adventures, and is a 2014 RONE finalist.

2013 brought MARRIAGE NOT INCLUDED, a organic farmer’s daughter meets corporate seed executive. Set in Idaho, this story takes me home.

2014 sees more big news – e-Kensington released The Tourist Trap Series – with GUIDEBOOK TO MURDER kicking the fun off in April. MISSION TO MURDER arrived July 31st, and a third book, IF THE SHOE KILLS, November 10th.  Set in a small coastal California town, I love these who dun it’s with a touch of romance.

Summer of 2015 – DRESSED TO KILL and KILLER RUN will be arriving.

I’ve come a long way from the little girl on the school bus who used to cut out pictures from Teen Beat to illustrate my tales of love and loss. And yet, not so far.

So pull up a chair, pour a cup of coffee, and let’s chat about writing, love, life, and the pesky things that get in the way of our goals and dreams.

I’m glad you found me.

You can connect with Lynn via Website | Twitter | Facebook

Q&A with Catherine Mann

You have more than 60 books released in more than 20 countries. What’s it like to have fans all over the world?

What a thrill to have the opportunity to touch readers around the globe. I’m not only an author, but also an avid reader myself. I treasure the escape of a great read and am honored to offer that entertainment to others.

What inspired you to make the move from theater school director to romance author?

The two actually share many similarities – the world building, characterization, plotting, staging, creating tension. I’m building a world with words rather than on a stage. My theater background also has a heavy emphasis in directing and literature. 

Can you tell us about your animal rescue work?

Ah, my heart and passion – I’ve been an animal rescuer for over a decade through fostering and serving on a shelter board of directors. Recently, I took a big leap of faith with some close friends and started our own rescue – The Sunshine State Animal Rescue. We’re a 501c3, non profit, no-kill rescue, all foster-home based. While we do traditional adoption placements, we also specialize in identifying animals at shelters that have working dog potential and partnering them into service/therapy/search and rescue placements. It’s been a life changing experience. FMI check out our facebook page: 
https://www.facebook.com/sunshinestateanimalrescue 

If PURSUED BY THE RICH RANCHER were made into a movie, who would you cast in the starring roles?

Timothy Olyphant as Alex McNair – definitely! And Emma Stone as single mom Nina Lowery.

What are you working on next?

Exciting news! I’m starting a new series for Harlequin Desire called the “Bayou Billionaires” - a football family dynasty that gives the books a sports industry setting. I’m writing the launch book, award winning author Joanne Rock is writing the second. She and I will continue to alternate writing books in the series so readers can have a book a month in the series. The series begins in early 2016 with HIS PREGNANT PRINCESS BRIDE

About Catherine Mann

USA Today bestseller Catherine Mann has books in print in more than 20 countries with Desire, Romantic Suspense, HQN and other Harlequin lines. A six-time RITA finalist, she has won both the RITA and the Bookseller's Best Awards. Catherine resides in Florida with her aviator husband, their four children and a menagerie of pets.

 Connect with Catherine via: Website | Twitter | Facebook

About Pursued by the Rich Rancher

Single mom Nina Lowery has never understood the sex appeal of cowboys. Until she brings her son to a weeklong horse camp and meets the wealthy rancher in charge. Seduction isn't part of Alex McNair's plan to earn his piece of his family's estate. Yet plans have a way of changing. Nina and her little boy hold the key to Alex's future. Breaking the promise he made to his dying grandmother is not an option but neither is breaking Nina's heart.

Buy the Book

Q&A with Randy Susan Meyers, author of Accidents of Marriage

Can you tell us a bit about the book and the relationship between the characters?

Accidents of Marriage asks what is the toll of emotional abuse on a family. It’s an account of life inside a marriage that seems fine to the outside world, an account of emotional abuse, traumatic injury, and how a seeming accident is really the culmination of years of ignored trouble. It’s the story of an unexpected gift of clarity making the difference between living in hell and salvation.

For Madeline Illica, the love of her husband Ben is her greatest blessing and biggest curse. Brilliant, handsome and charming, Ben could turn into a raging bull when crossed—and despite her training as a social worker Maddy was never sure what would cross him. She kept a fragile peace by vacillating between tiptoeing around him and asserting herself for the sake of their three children, until a rainy drive to work when Ben’s temper gets the best of him, and the consequences leave Maddy in the hospital, fighting for her life.

Accidents of Marriage, alternating among the perspectives of Maddy, Ben, and their fourteen-year-old daughter, Emma, takes us up close into the relationships between all family members. The children, lost in the shuffle, grasp for sources of comfort, including the (to them) mysterious traditions of their Jewish and Catholic grandparents. Emma and her grandparents provide the only stability for the younger children when their mother is in the hospital. Ben alternates between guilt and glimmers of his need to change, and Maddy is simply trying to live.  Accidents of Marriage reveals the challenges of family, faith, and forgiveness.
 
How many different titles did you experiment with before deciding on Accidents of Marriage?

My first working title was A Thousand Suppers (which comes from a line in the book, but ultimately made no sense out of context.) The title I used when I presented it to my editor was simply Maddy & Ben. After many long sessions with poetry books, anagrams of words, and other methods that I use, I came up with Accidents of Marriage.
 
How has working with batterers and victims of domestic violence influenced your writings?

Working with batterers taught me far more than I can put in a paragraph, but here is my version of the most important take-away: Never underestimate the hatred some men have of women. Never think that people (other than the truly damaged)  ‘snap’. If they chose to find it, people can access at least a sliver of decision-making. We have agency. We do not choose to hit and scream at our bosses. We choose to hit and scream at people in our homes. The hierarchy of power always comes into play.
 
Women (and men) do not choose abusive people as their loves—they pick the charming folks they meet in the beginning of a relationship. There might be signs to look out for, but abusers keep those traits in check until the relationship has solidified, when breaking up is more difficult.

There is not a black and white line between being abusive and not being abusive. There is a continuum of behavior, and most of us fall on the wrong side of the best behavior at some point—whether is be yelling, silent treatment, or some other hurtful conduct. Learning that this can be controlled is a job for everyone.
 
Batterers can change; we can all change our behaviors, but most often we choose not to do the difficult work that change requires. This is something I hope I bring to my writing.
 
Can you discuss the role of Maddy and Ben’s daughter in the book?

Emma is an average teenager who is thrown into very un-average circumstances. She becomes the stand-in mother, a role she takes on without credit or even being noticed. She is also the keeper of secrets, an impossible position for her to take on. In every stage of her family’s trauma, she is the silent absorber, who ultimately will break or find strength.
 
How did you portray someone with a traumatic brain injury so well?

I did an enormous amount of study. Luckily I find medical research fascinating. My shelves are crammed with memoirs of those with TBI and caretakers of those with TBI, workbooks for those with TBI, and medical texts—as well as spending time on line reading medical information for those in the field and information for those affected by brain injury. I had someone in the field read the novel and am also lucky enough to have a doctor in my writer’s group.
 
Did you have any say in choosing the cover for the book?

Yes! The final cover was the fourth one presented. It was tough finding the right ‘mood’ for the cover, but I was very pleased with the final version. Of course, most authors (including me) would love to actually design the cover, but my guess is our final products would not be the graphic success we imagine.
 
What made you choose a car crash as the tragic turning point between Ben and Maddy?

Abusive and bullying behavior very often plays out in driving. Road rage is a real problem on our motorways and seemed the logical vehicle for demonstrating how Ben’s bad choices result in devastating consequences.
 
Parts of this story make the reader begin to empathize with Ben. Why did you choose to do this?

I don’t believe books that present characters as all good or all bad can adequately capture life’s totality or experiences. It’s important for me to tap into how we are all the stars of our own show and how we often convince ourselves why it is ‘okay’ to act in awful ways.  Ben is not all bad, despite doing awful and bad things. The question I explore about Ben (among others) is can he change? Is he, are we, capable of change, and if so, how does will and can that change manifest?
 
Is Maddy modeled after anyone that you know?

Maddy is modeled after about a thousand people I know—including myself and my friends and family. Most of us have some Maddy in us, at least at some point. We close our eyes to the worst, or we use drugs or alcohol or food or something else to tamp down our feelings. We live in a maelstrom of problems and pretend it’s all okay. We deny and lie to ourselves. Until we can’t anymore.
 
What do you hope readers will take away from reading Accidents of Marriage?

Abusive behavior is wrong, whether it is physical, emotional, verbal or any other type of hurtful behavior. It overwhelms a family. Raising children with verbal and emotional violence is harmful and the ramifications last forever.

Most important, we can control our behavior.

But, most of all, I hope readers take a page-turning story from my book. I don’t write to lecture; I write to tell the stories that mesmerize me, and thus, I hope, fascinate others.

RANDY SUSAN MEYERS is the author of The Comfort of Lies and The Murderer’s Daughters and a finalist for the Massachusetts Book Award. Her writing is informed by her work with batterers and victims of domestic violence, as well her experience with youth impacted by street violence. She lives with her husband in Boston, where she teaches writing seminars at the Grub Street Writers’ Center. She is also a frequent contributor to The Huffington Post.

About Accidents of Marriage

For Madeline Illica, the love of her husband Ben was her greatest blessing and biggest curse. Brilliant and charming Ben could turn into a raging bull when crossed—and despite her training as a social worker Maddy never knew what would cross him. When Ben was in a conciliatory mood, they worked on techniques for communication and anger management but on the day of the accident, nothing seemed to help. He was furious at having to drive Maddy to work, the road was wet, and that SUV was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ben never meant for them to go off the road or for Maddy to go flying through the windshield.
 
 
Now she’s on a ventilator in intensive care and no one knows if she’ll reawaken from her coma and, if she does, whether she’ll ever be her old self. Maddy’s family blames Ben. Maddy’s friends blame Ben. The children blame Ben. Ben blames Ben—and he is sick to the pit of his soul over the fear of losing his one true love.
 
Fourteen-year-old Emma sees things a little differently. She desperately misses her mother but misses being a teenager more as she’s forced to pick up the slack from Ben and parent her younger siblings Gracie and Caleb. On the cusp of coming of age, she needs Maddy so she can discuss the hard decisions she’s being forced to make. And her confrontations with her volatile father are growing more heated by the day.